5 Ways to Choose a Spouse Like You Hire!
According to census numbers for as late as 2009, the divorce rate in the U.S. hovers close to or exceeds 50% for all 50 states. Basically when you enter into a relationship with another person you have a heads vs. tails shot of actually making it. I could go into all the reasons why divorces are so much more prevalent now then once they were years ago, but I’ve got to keep this under 10,000 words.
Here are a few ways you might avoid marital hell by applying your hiring principles to picking your mate.
- Turn off your internal ATS – Applicant tracking systems are designed to filter out unwanted resumes but our eyes work so much quicker when it comes to determining what we do or do not like. With blazing speed we scan a room and eliminate those who don’t meet our mating criteria. He/she is too tall, too round, too hairy, too pale, too freckled, too skinny and so on. While your company ATS removes all emotion from the selection process and theoretically chooses candidates based on skill, your internal ATS however is corrupted by the “love” virus. This trojan tricks us into believing that the object of our affection will be as emotionally and physically attractive to us 5-10 years down the road and barely considers skill in the selection process at all. This brings us to….
- Exchange spousal resumes – Darn right we need these! The love virus essentially shuts down all logic and reasoning during the spouse choosing process so much so that couples forget to seek common answers from one another that we so easily deduct from looking at a job candidate’s resume. Here are a few obvious inquiries not often considered:
- “Do you like to cook dinner?”
- “Do you know how to do laundry?”
- “Do you have more than $15,000 worth of debt?”
- “Do you have severe psychological disorders that I can’t see because I’m so foolishly in love with you?”
Couples need to exchange resumes listing such accomplishments as:
- “Successfully maintained employment for 36 straight months.”
- “Achieved quarterly quota of getting my kids to school on time.”
- “Presently have no addictions to Pepsi, Oatmeal Pies, Daytime television and sitting on the couch for hours on end.”
Exchanging a resume of sorts will help individuals discover if their potential spouse has the skills to meet his/her needs in the long run of life.
- Execute background checks/Credit checks/References – I’m not a big proponent of credit checks when discriminating against candidates especially in this down economy but I’ve heard countless stories of individuals getting hitched only to find out they had unknowingly taken responsibility for their spouse’s massive debt. Who needs that? Additionally while you may not want to ask this, don’t you want to know if your impending mate has three DUIs or charges of insurance fraud? Wouldn’t a background check serve you well here my friend?
- Interview – Your love affection may be able to fool you but can he/she fool a panel of your peers? Within your organization candidates most likely interview with several different individuals. Why not do the same with your spouse? Video interview him/her and share their video with friends and family so a more informed marrying decision can be made. Better yet, before you even go on that first date, have them record a video introduction of themselves and email it to you. This way others can point out the potential obstacles not registering with your eyes. Ask obvious questions during the interview (see point #2) such as how many kids you want to have if you even want any.
- Present the Offer letter – This is totally overlooked during the courtship phase and needs to be put in writing rather than assumed. A few might think the vows are the offer letter but vows are assumed moral obligations. The offer letter plainly lays out what each of you will commit to during at least the first five years of marriage. This way expectations will be met and bitterness from feeling let down or cheated won’t set in.
Now obviously at the risk of offending our loved one, we don’t employ any of the hiring practices above that we enact to ensure a prospective employee doesn’t ruin our company. But what they hey, it is just a marriage right?